Stress and sleep are deeply intertwined. When we’re stressed, it can be harder to fall asleep or stay asleep and when we’re sleep-deprived, we’re far less equipped to handle stress. It’s a cycle many of us know all too well.
One of the key players in this cycle is a hormone called cortisol. Often referred to as the “stress hormone,” cortisol is part of our body’s natural fight-or-flight response. When we perceive a threat, whether physical or emotional, our body releases cortisol to help us respond quickly and stay alert.
This response is completely normal, especially during periods of acute stress. Perhaps you've got a big deadline coming up, you're navigating a difficult life change, or dealing with a family worry, it's natural for your sleep to be a bit unsettled for a few days. Cortisol levels rise, your mind becomes more alert, and your body may find it harder to settle into sleep. But here’s the important part: this is usually temporary.
Where sleep can start to become a longer-term problem is how we react to the disruption.
Often, when we can’t sleep, we get frustrated or worried about the lack of sleep itself. We might start clock-watching, googling sleep remedies at 3am, or trying to force sleep to come, which only adds to our stress. This can turn a short-term stress response into a sleep pattern that feels stuck. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
Instead, when we understand what’s happening in our bodies and minds, we can take a calmer, more compassionate approach. We can say to ourselves, “This is just a short-term reaction. My body is doing what it’s designed to do. Sleep will return.” That mindset alone can start to ease the pressure.
But let’s not forget, being sleep-deprived can make everything feel more stressful. Our ability to regulate emotions, cope with day-to-day challenges, and stay calm under pressure all suffer when we haven’t had enough restorative rest. It’s why, after a poor night’s sleep, even the smallest thing can tip us over the edge. And so, the cycle continues.
And ironically, even sleep itself can become a source of stress. The more we strive for perfect sleep, the more it can feel like a battle. The good news is, sleep doesn't need to be a battle. It doesn’t need to be perfect. In fact, some gentle imperfection is completely normal. What matters most is how we support ourselves through the ups and downs.
Here are a few simple ways to manage stress and sleep more kindly:
-
Remind yourself that stress-related sleep disruption is temporary. Your body will recalibrate.
-
Practice relaxation techniques in the evening, deep breathing, journaling, or a calming routine can reduce cortisol naturally.
-
Be mindful of your response to poor sleep, try not to catastrophise or panic. One bad night doesn’t undo everything.
-
Focus on consistency rather than perfection, regular wake times, wind-down cues, and gentle movement can all help.
-
Seek rest in other ways, even if sleep is elusive, things like meditation, quiet time, or listening to soothing music can offer valuable rest.
Most importantly, be kind to yourself. Stress is part of being human. So is sleep disruption. But when we stop fighting it, and start supporting ourselves gently through it, that’s when things begin to shift.
